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Terrak Yunioh

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xampl - Terrak Yunioh Empty Terrak Yunioh

Post by greasySugar Sat Jun 10, 2017 9:41 pm

Full Name: Terrak Yunioh
Gender: Male
Physique (Height/Weight): Short and thin, but not wiry or built.
Age: 6 Alternian Sweeps

Personality: Socially clueless shut-in that means well but can never seem to really connect with others, hates confrontation so he prefers to be alone, somewhat intelligent, 'mommas' boy. Likes to keep a lot of secrets and generally play up the mysterious loner act. He would much rather be left alone than be around any other trolls. He's really hyperactive and cannot stand feeling like nothing is getting accomplished. Sometimes he genuinely does try to be social but somehow always leaves a distasteful impression on whoever he was trying to befriend. He genuinely enjoys only the company of his lusus who is incapable of speech. He'll just blabber on and on about nothing until he falls asleep in her giant claws. He has no qualms with thievery because most of the items in his hive were stolen. So boundaries are not a thing he respects. Ironically. His biggest problem is that he just doesn't understand that everyone on the planet is not specifically out to get him. When confronted he acts tough but truly is always too passive to ever initiate a fight. He is somewhat of a hoarder that collects random useless knick-knacks to clutter up his hive. He stays up late in the daytime tunneling and exploring the underground until he passes out and his molemom has to track him down. He has a very odd habit of chewing on metal chains. Overall, weird, dirty, lonely moleman with stealing problems.



Physical appearance: xampl - Terrak Yunioh 0xDJwgp_d(I'M SORRY ALL I HAVE IS THIS CRAPPY SPRITE) He's a small, scruffy looking Olive-blooded troll. He always wears a hardhat with a headlamp for enhanced light in his tunnels. He has question-mark shaped horns and large, messy, unkempt hair. He wears a black shirt with his symbol in his blood color, and baggy, tan, cargo pants with way too many pockets. His olive boots are gripped with teeth on the bottom for better traction underground. Everything he wears has slight dirt stains. He has intense eyebags from staying up late and various scars on his body. He always smiles with a toothy grin, displaying his missing fang. Sometimes if he needs to come above-ground, he'll just pop his head up like Mr. Resetti from Animal Crossing.

Strengths: He's very good at navigation, and can find a solution to most problems. He's also an incredibly fast runner and digger, able to escape from most situations he doesn't want to be in. He has an unusually powerful bite and is very proud of his ability to chew through chains.
Weaknesses: He has extremely poor vision, not being able to discern things that are too close or too far away. He has terrible social skills. If someone was to seemingly enjoy his company, he would do anything they tell him to, essentially becoming a puppet. He has weak willpower when bribed with something he wants. He's also not too conventionally strong either.
Fears/Insecurities: Afraid of most people he meets, losing his lusus, the unknown, etc.
Likes/Hobbies: Enjoys digging, exploring caves, reading troll comics and listening to loud rock music.
Dislikes: Being above-ground, being around new people, conflict, romance.

Handle: bedrockDiary
Typing Quirk/Color: Replaces e with # and i with !
Th!s !s an #xampl#.
Blood color: Olive
Psionic Power: None.
Symbol: xampl - Terrak Yunioh Wnl2NeT Jagged arrow pointing downwards. Symbol for underground gas.
Lusus: 6-eyed mole.

God Tier Title: Bard of Blood
Land: Land of Fog and Leaves- Thick fog clouds the sky and an seemingly infinite layer of leaves is scattered across the ground despite there being no trees in sight. Newt consorts are always fighting over land because the denizen is destroying their homes . Terrak's job is to unite them. (An incredibly frustrating land for Terrak because of his already bad eyesight and the leaves being too much to dig through.)
Derse or Prospit: Prospit
Strife Specibus: shovelkind (Wields a long handled spaded shovel that he eventually prototypes with a drill.)
Fetch Modus: Hidey-Hole. Puts the most recently obtained item behind all others in chronological order. You have to 'dig' through and deploy all other items to get to the most recent one. Cluttered hilarity ensues.

Other: Terrak lives isolated in an underground hive with his mole lusus and as such barely interacts with other trolls. So really he has no idea how to act within the hemospectrum or just in general.
Theme song:

I would really appreciate some feedback on him because he was the first O.C. I've ever created. Thanks!!~


Last edited by tlo on Tue Jul 18, 2017 1:43 pm; edited 12 times in total (Reason for editing : fixed [img] tag)
greasySugar
greasySugar
Juvesquirt

Aquarius Posts : 25
Boondollars : 13639
Join date : 2017-06-10
Age : 22
Location : Land of Fog and Leaves

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xampl - Terrak Yunioh Empty Re: Terrak Yunioh

Post by tlo Sun Jun 11, 2017 12:22 pm

Hey, welcome to the forums! Nice to have you!
Since you're new, I'll give you my "Make sure you read the rules ([url=here]here[/url]) and post an intro ([url=here]here[/url]) so everyone can get to know you" speech. Which is, uh, just that one sentence. i am so good at my job omg

But yeah, your character! I just need two things from you, and then you're good to be approved. This doesn't mean anything against the character specifically- I just need you to flesh him out a bit so people who read this in the future can get a better handle on what your character is like. The first thing is easy- Physical description needs to be at least four full sentences, or you can just add a picture if you have one. If you don't don't worry- You probably have enough info in there already for four sentences, it just needs to be a little more readable :>
The next part is something most people struggle with. Personality is, I'll be honest, a bitch. Coming up with eight sentences is tough, but doable!
There are three things I can show you that will help. The first is, of course, all the characters that are already approved. Just read through their personality and write about similar things for your character. It just gets the juices flowing a bit.
The second one you have probable already found, since you happen to be using it, but it's the template itself. Below it is a section where it fleshes out and gives a few pointers for each section, so reading the personality section might help.
Lastly, there's this thread, here. Arguably the most useful thread on this site, alough it's a little outdated since it was designed for an older template. All the advice, though, is still fantastic. Just peruse the personality segment and follow its nmerous tips and pointers, and eight sentences will be a breeze!

If you still are having trouble, you can feel free to use the PM button in the top toolbar to send a message to any of the staff--All of us want to help! Also, we have a skype chat where all the cool stuff goes down. Just pop a message asking for help and you'll probably get it.
But yeah, lot's of text but relatively simple roadblocks! Hope this didn't discourage you, and thanks for joining!


Last edited by tlo on Sun Jun 11, 2017 8:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
tlo
tlo
Legacy Administrator

Scorpio Posts : 889
Boondollars : 21235
Join date : 2014-10-05
Age : 25
Location : Somewhere?
My Pet : I think she likes you.

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Post by greasySugar Sun Jun 11, 2017 7:41 pm

Thank you so much for the help! I'll get right on improving this!
greasySugar
greasySugar
Juvesquirt

Aquarius Posts : 25
Boondollars : 13639
Join date : 2017-06-10
Age : 22
Location : Land of Fog and Leaves

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xampl - Terrak Yunioh Empty Re: Terrak Yunioh

Post by tlo Sun Jun 11, 2017 9:02 pm

Yeah, that's perfect! I really like the character, and i really feel like I understand him from reading this. Good job!
(Oh, it looks like your image isn't showing up. Here's the bbcode if it was tripping you up) :>
Code:
[img]<Image url here>[/img]

But yup, this is approved!
tlo
tlo
Legacy Administrator

Scorpio Posts : 889
Boondollars : 21235
Join date : 2014-10-05
Age : 25
Location : Somewhere?
My Pet : I think she likes you.

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